Tonight I went to RUF and the speaker Matt Howell spoke on John 20:24-31 on the topic of doubt and faith. The message was really good and actually something that I needed to hear. Recently I have been struggling with whether or not it is right to doubt God. Not that I am at all but some things have happened lately that made me wonder if a reaction of doubt is as terrible as I always thought it was.
One of the points Matt made in his message was that we put too much faith in our faith. We tend to base our view of God on how much we allow ourselves to rely on Him for. When I have moments when I feel I have faith to move mountains, I think nothing is better than my God. But when I have moments where my faith is a mustard seed I start wondering where my awesome God is. The reality is that no matter how much I trust in Him, he will always be exactly the same. Instead of putting my faith in how I respond to God for what happens in my life, I need to just know that His response will always be the same towards me. When I focus on that, there is no room for me to doubt Him.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Smile :)
There are so many different smiles in the world. There is my embarrassed blushing smile, my half smirk smile, my laughing smile, and my everyday, normal, all the time smile. I started thinking about this last Thursday when I was getting lunch at McAlisters. I forgot to tell the cashier that i needed my food to go, so when i picked my food up at the window i grabbed a bag on the counter. As I was about to walk away, the girl who called out the names said "Oh you should have just asked for me to make it to go!" I quickly responded "Its ok I got it!" Then she said something that has stuck with me throughout this week. She said "Normally I make people do it themselves but you were smiling so I would have done it for you."
Do people really go through the day and not smile at other people? Was that really all I had to do? Just smile?
Today I had the opportunity to sit in on staff worship at camp. I, along with the rest of the praise and worship team, was asked to sit in front of the staff as they prayed for and encouraged us as a team and as individuals. When Shelley mentioned my smile I remembered the McAlister incident and started thinking that maybe I smile too much. Which then ironically made me smile because I don't think that's possible!
I know that smiling is not just my personality. It's definitely not that I am not a worrying person. Its that I have a God who will take away my negative thoughts and feelings if I just give them to Him. He is the one who gives me the joy that people seem to notice in me. And He uses it to catch other people's attention and makes people feel comfortable enough to open up to me. Or at least recognize there is something different about me enough to offer to help with a simple task. I know God has many different ways He uses me to reach people, and my smile is one of them. :)
Do people really go through the day and not smile at other people? Was that really all I had to do? Just smile?
Today I had the opportunity to sit in on staff worship at camp. I, along with the rest of the praise and worship team, was asked to sit in front of the staff as they prayed for and encouraged us as a team and as individuals. When Shelley mentioned my smile I remembered the McAlister incident and started thinking that maybe I smile too much. Which then ironically made me smile because I don't think that's possible!
I know that smiling is not just my personality. It's definitely not that I am not a worrying person. Its that I have a God who will take away my negative thoughts and feelings if I just give them to Him. He is the one who gives me the joy that people seem to notice in me. And He uses it to catch other people's attention and makes people feel comfortable enough to open up to me. Or at least recognize there is something different about me enough to offer to help with a simple task. I know God has many different ways He uses me to reach people, and my smile is one of them. :)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Two Quotes and a Comment
These are two quotes from a book I was assigned to read in my Cultivating Creative Expression Through Music class (long name for a class that is basically elementary school music), titled The Art of Possibility.
"Mistakes can be like ice. If we resist them, we may keep on slipping into a posture of defeat. If we include mistakes in our definition of performance, we are likely to glide through them and appreciate the beauty of the longer run."
-Rosamund Stone Zander
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The would will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how vulnerable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
-Martha GrahamSomething I said the other day as a comment on my optimism and just how beautiful of a day it was:
"Instead of having to look on the bright side, today it just is the bright side." : )
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
How I Got to Where I Am Now
Recently I have been thinking about God's plan for my life and how I know that I will end up exactly where He needs me to be. I know this because of where I am now.
I will start with my literal position in the world. I live in the tiny town of Boone and attend Appalachian State University. This came as a surprise to basically everyone at my high school. I graduated something like number 29 in my class of 555. My GPA was 4.46 and I took 6 AP classes. My adviser told me I needed to apply to more rigorous schools, and my teachers willingly filled out recommendations for various schools and scholarships. I applied to UNC Wilmington, App State and UNC Chapel Hill and was accepted to all three school. I am not saying this to brag by any means, but to say that I was "supposed" to go to Carolina. You should have seen Ms. Douglass' (my AP English teacher) face when I announced to the class that I had turned down Carolina for Appalachian! People ask me all the time why I didn't go to Carolina. It is a hard thing to explain to people who are not Christians, because I don't really have a logical reason. I may say it is because I liked the Elementary Ed program at App better (which is true) but really it is because I know God wanted me at App. I felt peace about it and just knew it was God.
Along with the college I attend is the major I selected. I mentioned before that I took some of the toughest classes offered at Wakefield and got good grades in them. I was also the fist chair cellist junior year and solo cellist senior year in the orchestra. I love music sooo much and music theory just comes naturally to me. I can say the thing I found the most pleasure working hard in was music. But I am not a music major. Not even music education. I am doing Elementary Ed partly because I have always said that was what I was going to do, but also because I honestly can't see myself being so extremely happy doing anything else. I have spent years in prayer over what I should major in, and God has yet to change my heart to desire anything else.
So maybe people think I am not reaching my potential or just taking the easy way out, I am happy to tell you that they are highly mistaken. I am going to do what God wants me to do, and if it looks foolish to anyone else, too bad.
I will start with my literal position in the world. I live in the tiny town of Boone and attend Appalachian State University. This came as a surprise to basically everyone at my high school. I graduated something like number 29 in my class of 555. My GPA was 4.46 and I took 6 AP classes. My adviser told me I needed to apply to more rigorous schools, and my teachers willingly filled out recommendations for various schools and scholarships. I applied to UNC Wilmington, App State and UNC Chapel Hill and was accepted to all three school. I am not saying this to brag by any means, but to say that I was "supposed" to go to Carolina. You should have seen Ms. Douglass' (my AP English teacher) face when I announced to the class that I had turned down Carolina for Appalachian! People ask me all the time why I didn't go to Carolina. It is a hard thing to explain to people who are not Christians, because I don't really have a logical reason. I may say it is because I liked the Elementary Ed program at App better (which is true) but really it is because I know God wanted me at App. I felt peace about it and just knew it was God.
Along with the college I attend is the major I selected. I mentioned before that I took some of the toughest classes offered at Wakefield and got good grades in them. I was also the fist chair cellist junior year and solo cellist senior year in the orchestra. I love music sooo much and music theory just comes naturally to me. I can say the thing I found the most pleasure working hard in was music. But I am not a music major. Not even music education. I am doing Elementary Ed partly because I have always said that was what I was going to do, but also because I honestly can't see myself being so extremely happy doing anything else. I have spent years in prayer over what I should major in, and God has yet to change my heart to desire anything else.
So maybe people think I am not reaching my potential or just taking the easy way out, I am happy to tell you that they are highly mistaken. I am going to do what God wants me to do, and if it looks foolish to anyone else, too bad.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Hoopoe!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Appartment Search
This weekend I really need to decide on a place to live. Courtney and I are really set on being room mates but we just can't seem to find the right place. After a day full of dramatic over-thinking and worry, we watched a movie to take our mind off the stress. By the end, we knew it was silly to worry because God will always provide for us!
"I believe in wise planning, but if after doing all you are able to do, you still are fearful of the future, the Lord says, 'Don't worry.'"
-John MacArthur Anxious for Nothing
Our options so far:
"I believe in wise planning, but if after doing all you are able to do, you still are fearful of the future, the Lord says, 'Don't worry.'"
-John MacArthur Anxious for Nothing
Our options so far:
- Apply for on campus housing and either end up in a better dorm, end up in the same dorm that we don't like, or not get chosen in the lottery at all.
- Live in University Highlands, but it will be really expensive to pay for it over the summer, meaning no camp :(
- Sarah Herbert told us about a friend who was looking for 3 room mates. Its a good place to live but the email address we were giving to contact them led us to nowhere.
- Our small group leader Lucy is moving out of her downstairs apartment in a cute little house with 2 girls living upstairs and they are looking for someone to move in. I have been to the house and it is soooo pretty! It is the best and cheapest option but there is not AppalCart (hate that thing!) route so we would both need cars.
- Keep looking for places!!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Sandcastles
I recently started read the book Crazy Love by Frances Chan. It was honestly a life changing read! It took me three days to finish it and there were moments where i just had to stop and literally just sit and do nothing. As a result, I have decided to work more on loving people. I will say that I am willing to do anything for anyone, expecting nothing in return, even for those who have hurt me.
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